this is farking random.

Last night i couldnt sleep and i ran out of farking credit.*isshh* then million of things ran through my mind. Past, present and future. Why am i not anxious about my future anymore? Where is the ohm baby? WHERE? I wanted so badly to leave Malaysia, go to a place where nobody knows me and i'll start a life all over again. Attending college and parties after parties while i am still young. Why am i so not motivated? HECK MAN. Whats wrong with me. T-oh call me last night because he might be leaving me soon. (cries) We've been friends for like more than a decade? There is always a time when you have to say goodbye. To those you love, you hate and the one you treasure the most. And i freaking HATE IT. And ASH is down serious about getting serious in her studies now. She's going to London to study her law. Brandon is going Vacuover to study business. Then WHAT ABOUT ME?! Why am i always slower? Niel is no longer in Brunei, he is in LA studying. Why all the people i treasure and love must leave me. DADDY said " this is life girl, this is how we learn to grow up" I fucking don't want to go grow up now. If everyone is suppose to leave you sooner or later whats the point of know them at the first place? This post of full of complaints and negative thoughts. Read it or leave it. I dont understand why! I am really exhausted. I know this is the process of growing up but can we not go through this? First backstabbing and handling gossip, then now saying goodbyes to the one you love and whats next? Life and death?*cries*